Unexpected Packages Page 12

  “No, I do not.”

  I reached for her hand. “But that could be an enjoyable dessert.”

  She nibbled on her bottom lip as she contemplated it. “Okay, maybe.”

  “There’s my girl. You need to have a sense of adventure once in a while.”

  “Oh, trust me, I have a sense of adventure everywhere but in the bedroom.”

  I studied her as I put my vehicle in reverse. “Why is that?”

  She shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess it’s just not something that I’m comfortable with.”

  “You’ve used vibrators before, right?” I asked as I backed out, purposefully not looking at her so she wouldn’t be embarrassed.

  “Yeah, I have a few times,” she answered quietly.

  I peered at her, and even though it was dark in the car, I knew she was probably blushing. “You know there is nothing to be embarrassed about, right? It’s what people do.”

  Her laugh sounded strangled. “Yeah, if you say so.”

  “Can I ask you another question?”

  “Yes.”

  “Have you ever used one with a partner?”

  “You mean with Will?”

  “Yes.”

  “No, we didn’t. Our sex life was fine without it.”

  I chuckled. “I’m sure it was. I’ve made love before, and it was more than fine, but using toys in the bedroom enhances the pleasure.”

  “Again—if you say so,” she replied.

  I reached over and took her hand. “I say so, and I’m going to prove it to you later tonight.”

  She didn’t reply, and I changed the topic. While we had dinner, we talked about growing up, and she told me stories about hunting and when she started taking martial arts. I shared with her my own stories. She even asked a little about my military career, although she didn’t seem to want any details.

  It was as we were finishing dinner that I slipped a small box out of my jacket pocket and pushed it over the table toward her. “You didn’t have to get me anything, Alex.”

  “I wanted to,” I told her. In all honesty, I wanted to give her a whole lot more than the gift I’d picked up for her this afternoon. I wanted to provide her with the world.

  She removed the ribbon from the box and took the top off, staring down at the necklace inside. “It’s beautiful,” she commented as she pulled the chain out and stared at the charm.

  I’d picked out a simple white gold chain with a heart charm that had a solitaire diamond in the center. “I wanted you to know that you have my heart.”

  She stared at me, blinking rapidly for a moment. “I love it, Alex.” She quickly fastened it around her neck and fingered the charm. “You have mine, too.” She reached over the table and took my hand, squeezing it.

  “What do you say about getting out of here and going back to your place?”

  “I say yes.”

  I waved down our waiter and quickly paid for our dinner. Lexi kept touching her necklace, and I was glad I’d gone with that instead of a bracelet. I didn’t say anything to her, but I’d also been looking at rings while I was there, and while I knew that Lexi was the woman for me, I also knew it was too early to spring that on her.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Lexi

  Was it too soon to admit that I was falling in love with Alex? Is that what having his heart meant to him? Was he falling in love with me? I wanted him to, I honestly did.

  Alex and I were quiet on the way home, and he held my hand as we took the stairs. When I unlocked the door, we stepped inside, and after removing our coats, we stared at one another. Something had changed with us. I felt it, and I was pretty sure he did too.

  Last night when I’d been out with Clare, I’d admitted to her that Alex and I were seeing each other, but I hadn’t shared that we’d slept together. She was happy to hear that I was seeing someone—anyone really—although she did really like Alex.

  Alex stepped forward and brushed his hand over my collarbone, his other hand wrapping around my neck and lifting my face to his as all thoughts of Clare vanished. The kiss was tender, but full of energy as the chemistry between us began to mix.

  “I want to make love to you, Alexandra. I want to show you how much you mean to me.”

  “Then make love to me, Alex,” I replied on a whisper. “Show me.”

  Alex lifted me into his arms as if I were the most precious thing in the world and carried me back to my room. Although we had made love several times already, it almost felt like the first time as he slowly undressed me.

  “You’re so beautiful, Lexi. So damn beautiful.” He kissed the column of my neck as he slowly began to unzip my dress. He let it fall to the floor, and I stepped out of it as his gaze dropped to my chest. He peeled back the strapless bra that I was wearing and bent down to kiss both my breasts as he kneaded them. Desire flowed through my veins as I clung to him, and my knees began to quiver with need.

  I pushed his jacket from his shoulders, and when he stood back up, I began to unbutton his shirt. When we were naked, he coaxed me toward the bed, laying me down and staring at me from head to toe, and with reverence in his voice, he said, “So damn beautiful.”

  I held my hand out to him, and he covered my body with his. I loved the feel of his weight over me. It comforted me, made me feel whole in a way I had not felt in a long time. He kissed my neck, suckled my ear, and then whispered, “Where is it?”

  I froze momentarily, totally at a loss as to what he was asking for. “Where is what?”

  He leaned back, smirking down at me. “Your rabbit.”

  I laughed. “No.”

  “Yes,” he replied. “I want to show you how incredible it can be.”

  I pursed my lips, staring up at him. Part of me wanted to let him, but the other part was slightly embarrassed to admit that.

  “Come on, Lexi, one time. If you don’t enjoy it as much as I think you will, then I’ll never ask again.”

  I inhaled slowly and let it out. “In the top drawer.”

  He retrieved it, and I sucked my bottom lip between my teeth. The gleam in his eye as he removed the toy made my core clench and my toes curl in anticipation.

  He kissed me long and hard and then kissed his way down my body until he was posed at the juncture to my thighs. “Spread your legs, baby.”

  I did and closed my eyes, afraid to watch. He fondled me slightly, then the cold texture of the toy touched me, and I startled. “Relax, baby. Let yourself enjoy this.”

  I closed my eyes tighter, trying to relax as he’d asked, but it was hard. Well, that was until he turned on the vibrator and began to rub it against me. Then feelings began to take over, and I forgot to be embarrassed as my breathing began to quicken. I clung to his arm, my fingers digging into his bicep as he positioned it at my entrance and pushed slowly in.

  “Look at me, baby. Open your eyes and look at me.”

  I did, and what I saw took my breath away. There was more desire in his gaze than I had ever seen, and that was saying something. I watched him turn to look at what he was doing, and my gaze followed. The sight of him inserting the toy and moving it to hit just the right spot was almost breathtaking. He licked his lips, then leaned his head down to add his tongue to the mix. That was all it took for me to explode. Bright lights filled my mind like fireworks as my body arched, and my insides pulsed with pleasure, but he didn’t stop. In fact, he turned it up higher, and the orgasm just continued to take me on another wave. I wiggled to get away from the sensation, fearing I would die from the intensity of it, and he chuckled softly as he removed the toy and turned it off.

  His body covered mine as I tried to regain my sanity, and he kissed me hard. I clung to him as he positioned himself and entered me slowly. Our bodies perfectly fit together as we moved together. “That was beautiful, Lexi. Don’t tell me you didn’t enjoy it.”

  “I did,” I remarked as I opened my eyes to find his gray ones observing me. “I did.”

  He kissed me again, and the two of u
s continued to love one another until he brought me to the edge once again, and we crashed over together.

  I lay in his arms, my body limp as his hand caressed up and down my back. “I’m glad you enjoyed that because it was incredible to watch you explode.”

  I snickered. “You enjoyed that, huh?”

  He lifted my chin so he could see my face. “More than you could even realize. There is nothing more satisfying than watching your pleasure and knowing that I’m the one giving it to you.”

  I kissed his chest, and the two of us grew quiet. “Lex, I have to go out of town on Friday for a little while.”

  “Okay,” I replied around a yawn. “Business or pleasure?”

  “Business.”

  “How long will you be gone?”

  “I’m not sure, but probably at least a week to ten days.”

  I lifted my face to him. “You’ll be back before Valentine’s Day, right?”

  “Yeah, I’ll be back before then.”

  I snuggled back onto his chest. “Okay, then we can go to your daughter’s cheerleading competition together.”

  His hand stopped moving. “You know when Nica’s competition is? I didn’t even know that.”

  “Yeah, she texted me earlier today to give me the details. Told me to drag you over to watch. Besides, she did tell you when it was, but you obviously forgot.”

  “Huh.” He grew quiet and then tightened his arm around me, kissing my head. “I’m glad she reached out to you. You like Nica, right?”

  I hugged him tighter. “Yes, I think your daughter is amazing, and I look forward to watching her.”

  “Okay, then it’s a date.”

  “It’s a date,” I whispered as I started to drift off to sleep, feeling contentment I hadn’t felt in a long time.

  Thursday morning, Alex gave me a kiss goodbye and said he had a busy day, but he’d see me in the evening for a little while.

  I felt like I was walking on a cloud all day, and even though there were a few issues with a client case I was working on, it didn’t lessen my good mood. I had a feeling that nothing could do that.

  Ralph noticed the necklace I was wearing and commented after our meeting was finished. “Is that new?”

  I touched it. “Yes, Alex gave it to me for my birthday.”

  “Pretty expensive gift for two people that don’t know each other very well,” he replied.

  I studied him for a moment. “Ralph, I happen to like Alex very much.”

  He nodded and then stood from the conference table. “Well, I hope it works out for you two.”

  “Ralph, please don’t be upset.”

  “I’m not, Alexandra. I just think that you deserve someone better.”

  “He is a very good man, Ralph. You don’t know him like I do.”

  “I think your mind is clouded by silly feelings.”

  “Silly feelings?” I sputtered. “How are they silly feelings?”

  “Alexandra, I told you he was a dangerous man, and he does a dangerous job. I don’t want to see you hurt.”

  “He trains people, Ralph. How is that dangerous?”

  He looked puzzled for a moment. “Alexandra, he still goes overseas. In fact, Jake told me today that we need to push back our next training session at least a week because Alex and Trevor have to go overseas to deal with an issue.”

  My blood ran cold in my veins. “What?”

  “You didn’t know?” He seemed surprised. “I’m sorry, but if you two have such a great relationship, why didn’t he tell you that himself?”

  “He told me he was going out of town,” I replied with a frown. He just didn’t tell me he was going to a war zone, I thought to myself.

  “Oh, well, you might want to think about why he didn’t tell you that himself.” He squeezed my shoulder and walked away, leaving me staring at the wall.

  Why didn’t Alex tell me he was going overseas? He had made it sound like a regular business trip, not a journey to hell. Suddenly, the lighthearted cloud vanished, and my feet slammed into the floor. I slowly sank into the chair behind me as dread and fear began to take its place. I could not be involved with a man who was going to be putting himself in harm’s way. Not after losing Will and my brother. I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t handle another five years of running on autopilot and trying to pick up the pieces of my shattered soul.

  My fingers went to the necklace that he had given to me last night, and I blinked back tears. I was going to have to give it back to him tonight and tell him that I could not do this. It wasn’t fair of him to even ask me to.

  With that decided, I went back to my office and tried to focus on my work. When I got home, I began to clean my apartment. It wasn’t dirty, but I needed to be busy. Alex sent me a message around seven, asking if he could stop by in a little while, and I told him yes. I stood in front of the mirror and slowly removed the necklace that he had given me.

  I couldn’t accept his heart if he was going to be traveling overseas. I’d done that once before. I couldn’t do that again.

  With the necklace tucked back into the box, I set it on the kitchen counter and paced until he arrived. He was bright-eyed and full of energy when he stepped into my apartment and pulled me into his arms. I went and knew it was the last time I would ever be there. I wanted time to stop, for it all not to be true.

  He leaned back, staring down at me, his gray eyes serious. “What’s wrong?”

  There was no beating around the bush. “You didn’t tell me you were going overseas.”

  “I told you I was going on a trip.”

  “Yes,” I stepped out of his grasp, my heart aching as it prepared to split in two, “but you neglected to tell me where.”

  I heard him sigh as I stepped away to retrieve the necklace.

  “I was going to, but I didn’t want to ruin last night, Lexi.”

  I turned to him, holding the box out to him. “I’m sorry, Alex. I can’t accept this.”

  He looked shocked. “Why? It was a birthday gift.”

  “Yes, and you said a piece of your heart. I can’t take a piece of your heart. You can’t ask me to do that. I can’t do that. Not again, Alex. You know I lost Will, and I can’t fall in love with someone who is going to be risking their life, over and over again. I can’t do that, Alex. Please, don’t ask me to do that.” I begged and couldn’t stop the tears from streaming down my cheeks as I felt my heart begin to separate. He stepped forward, and I shuffled back. “Please take this and go. I hope you have a safe trip, Alex. I really do.”

  “Lexi, don’t do this. I promise I’ll be back before Valentine’s Day, and we can talk then. Please don’t break this off before we have time to discuss it.”

  “Alex, I can’t.” I swiped at a tear. “I can’t care about you and worry that you’ll come home to me. I can’t do that again. I lost five years of my life after Will died; I am just now starting to live again. I can’t lose you just when I’m starting to love you. It’s not fair to me!”

  He lunged forward, grabbing my face. “You can’t let me go if you are falling in love with me, Lexi. I feel the same way, and I don’t want to leave you, but I have to go. I promise we will discuss this when I get back. Please, do not destroy the best thing either of us has had in a long time.”

  “I can’t, Alex. I wish I could, but I can’t.” I saw the pain of my words as they crossed his features and wished that I could take them back, but I couldn’t. It wasn’t fair to ask me to. “Please go,” I whispered.

  “Alexandra, please!” He leaned closer. “Please do not do this. I promise I will come back.”

  “I learned a long time ago that you can’t promise that. No one can. Not Will, not Chad, not you. You know how dangerous it is over there. What have you been teaching in those classes? It’s dangerous over there, right? Well, I can’t be here waiting to see if you’ll return. I can’t look at building a future with you if there might not be any chance that there won’t be one.”

  Lines creased his for
ehead as he shifted back. The hold on my face softened, and then his hands were gone as they dropped to his sides. He looked around the room, then at the box that I held in my hand. He slowly took it. “This was a gift.”

  “And I can’t accept it, Alex. I’m sorry.”

  He nodded, then started to turn away but paused halfway. “For the record, I was falling in love with you, too, Lexi. I saw a future with you, and I thought that is what you wanted.”

  I wanted to throw my arms around him, wanted to beg him to stay, but I didn’t. I kept my mouth shut and watched him leave. When the door closed, I made it to the couch before I crumbled into a heap and began to cry in earnest.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Alex

  The day had been a whirlwind. In between training the class we had, Trevor and I were on the phone or going through emails about our upcoming trip. We were trying to get as much news as we could about the area and reaching out to contacts overseas who might have clearer intel.

  After class, the two of us were back at the office with Jake and a few others going over logistics. He wasn’t kidding when he said that we’d be leaving right after classes; in fact, he was going to come over and take over the last two hours of the course so that we could catch our flight.

  That meant I needed to get my bags packed tonight and bring them with me. I also needed to call Nica and Annie and give them a heads-up, and I wanted to see Lexi for as long as I could. Maybe if I got those other things done quickly, I could spend more time with her.

  As much as I wanted to spend the night with her, I knew that I’d probably be up late going through details and researching more about the area we were heading to. I tried to call Nica before I went up to Lexi’s apartment, but Patrick told me that Annie had just left to pick her up from cheer practice. He said he’d have them call me when they returned home.

  I took the stairs two at a time, dreading saying goodbye to Lexi but happy to be able to spend a few minutes with her. I felt the change in her demeanor as I held her. Her arms were too tight, her body too tense. Something was wrong, but I never would have guessed what it was.